Online Body Language
My friend told me yesterday that my e-mails always seem hostile. I’m not trying to do that! How do I know if I come across like that when I’m dating online?
Well my friend, that could pose as a problem. It’s hard to get tone across on the internet since people can perceive words on paper however they want. That’s why people always see books differently– everyone has their own opinion on how they’re read. When you’re responding to online personals, you have to approach it in the same manner you would a real date. Even though you’re in front of a computer, body language is still very important, but instead of ‘body’ it’s more of ‘word structure’. Maintaining a happy and positive word structure body language will help you come across just how you want!
Use excited punctuation. There’s a big difference from “I’m doing laundry I’ll talk to you later,” and “I’m doing laundry… I’ll talk to you later!” The words you see are the same, but they read completely differently. Why? Because when you use excitable punctuation, it brings your words to life and lets them read what you wrote exactly how you wrote it.
Add emoticons. Overloading your messages with emoticons will seem immature and annoying, so use this one sparingly, but there’s a big place in adult personals for the occasional smiley face. Just like punctuation, emoticons can express sarcasm, flirtatiousness, joy and even impatience. They’re a fun addition to what you’re saying, and they prevent anything from being taken as hostile.
Don’t be afraid to use fun abbreviations. A small ‘lol’ goes a long way! I don’t want you to go out and typ lk ths bcuz i said 4 u 2 use abbrevs, but if you add a little gigging with lol’s every now and then, or put in a ‘omg’ for good measure, it’ll get you both in the flirtatious mood.
Exaggerate every once in a while! Now let’s be clear– this isn’t saying to lie. But exaggerations can be good ways to simply tell a story better. Telling someone there were 5 police officers at an accident is something everyone has seen. It’s not fun to hear about. But saying that there were more offers there than you’d ever seen in one place? That gets them interested! It starts their imaginations because they have to vision something they have never seen first-hand.
Whatever you do, just try not to be stiff with your writing. Using too many sophisticated words makes you sound like you’re writing a news article, not answering a personal ad. Follow these simple tips and your online date will get the hang of what you’re saying in no time!
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