Is ‘Fear Of Commitment’ A Real Thing, Or A Lame Excuse?

A guy I’ve been talking to online says that he wants to take things slow because he has a “Fear of commitment.” I’m glad he’s being honest about it, but could it be just an excuse to not have to get serious with me?
Curious

You certainly have the right to be curious about that, but even though it seems like it could be an excuse, you can’t count it as a lie just yet.

Find out why he has a fear of commitment. Is it because he’s never been in a serious relationship before? Because he had been and was treated poorly or cheated on? Getting to the root of his problem will help you understand if it really is an issue, or if it’s an excuse.

If he had been in a relationship that turned sour, it’s natural for him to be skeptical of other relationships, but you have to gain his trust by proving that this relationship is nothing like his last one. The actions of other people shouldn’t effect your relationship with him, and he needs to know that.

If he simply hasn’t had a serious relationship before, then you may be dealing with a match that’s bad news. Chances are if he hasn’t  been serious before, he’s not going to be serious this time! No matter how slow you take it, he’ll end up getting freaked out by something small and will most likely flake out on you.

If this is a relationship you’re genuinely interested in pursuing, find out just how far this fear of commitment goes. You’ll be able to judge whether he’s interested in a real relationship by his date history, so ask questions and find out if it’s worth your time!